Enough is Enough
Today, I was surfing back over some old blogs looking for a link to a friend's blog, when I came across the following comment from someone to the post on grieving on the CRASH blog. I realize that by posting this today, that I may be opening a can of worms that many would like left closed, but if you all know me at all, you know that open communication is one of the things that I am most about. For that reason I am choosing to publish on both the Cheyenne and CRASH blogs for the widest dissemination. Following is the comment and my response.
Stephannie wrote:
I am so sad to hear of all the grieving. You are all feeling such a loss of what you have left behind. There was also a great deal of grieving done by those left behind to pick up the pieces as well. The only difference is that our grief was not self inflicted. When we grieve over the loss of a loved one, we don't have a choice......the loss was something we had no control over. It happend and there was nothing we could do about it. That is why the grief is so strong. We missed a chance to say good bye, we didn't get to say I love you before they left.........it is not grief when the loss is caused by your own doing......it is self pity. I am never one to be cruel or hurtful, and I am genuine in my words..........I would not have shared such strong feelings if they were not overwhelming me. Those who have chosen to inflict this "grief" are drawing attention to themselves and taking it away from God. These are people of whom I had a great love and respect. People from whose faith in God I could grow. But in their selfishness have they taken that away from me without so much as a goodbye......it broke my heart. This departure is not in the name of the Lord, but in the name of a man. I feel as though I have been taken advantage by FRIENDS I looked up to and hoped to be like. My faith in God has not changed, but my faith in people certainly has.
Stephannie, I must respond. When I figured out which Stephannie you were, I must say I was taken aback, but I must put your comments down to ignorance of the truth. Our leaving was not self inflicted. It was very much Pastor inflicted, and if you are hearing anything else, I beg you to question more deeply. (And may I say right here, that I love Pastor as deeply as I ever have, and my intention is not to malign, but to speak from a perspective that has not been heard) We were all offered a VERY clear choice, and we chose the only thing we could choose with integrity. Yes, we could have stayed and beat our heads against the wall until our foreheads were bloody and the church was completely fragmented. But that is NOT how Jesus would have us exhibit our love for Him. I have made every effort to stay visible and available to those still at FBC, so that all of you will know that I love EACH AND EVERY one of you and miss you. Those of us who have stepped away from FBC have made every effort to behave with integrity in terms of why we left, and it has been extremely difficult to NOT defend our decision when we hear things like, "I am praying for your salvation," or, "Well, they are just mad at God" or, "Things weren't going their way, so they left" or even more unbelievably, "So, when are you moving to Hawaii?" All of these comments have only served to show us how very much people will assume what they want without trying to get to the truth, and all of these comments couldn't be further from the truth. The assumption is that a bunch of us got together and unanimously decided to leave the church. This too, could not be further from the truth. Each of us, through meeting with the pastor and praying as husband and wife, came to our decisions so independently that we actually avoided contact with each other, so as not to influence or be influenced. So, I beg of you, look deeper than the surface, ask hard questions, and pray for the Holy Spirit to guide you. You said, Stephannie, "These are people of whom I had a great love and respect. People from whose faith in God I could grow." We are EXACTLY the same people and our faith is not diminished. It grows stronger and deeper with each passing moment. If any of you reading this disagree in any way with what I have written today, PLEASE call me. I am just so very weary with God's people behaving like children mad at each other. Or worse yet, as though there has been a divorce, and now, even though we said we loved both sides of the family for all those years, we no longer speak to each other. Enough is enough. If you have questions, or you are hurt, at least find out if what you are questioning or hurting about is based on truth. PLEASE call me. And if you know someone who needs to read this and is not a blogger, please feel free to copy it and pass it on. I truly love you all...
Susie
707-446-9720
707-688-8238
susan.helton@sbcglobal.net
And please, if you agree with any of this, pray about your words in the comment section. Better yet, simply leave your name and phone number. My intention here is not to generate comments, or to start a back and forth debate, but to truly have spoken dialogue. However, if you disagree and are uncomfortable with calling, please feel free to comment in any way, and I will call you!
Stephannie wrote:
I am so sad to hear of all the grieving. You are all feeling such a loss of what you have left behind. There was also a great deal of grieving done by those left behind to pick up the pieces as well. The only difference is that our grief was not self inflicted. When we grieve over the loss of a loved one, we don't have a choice......the loss was something we had no control over. It happend and there was nothing we could do about it. That is why the grief is so strong. We missed a chance to say good bye, we didn't get to say I love you before they left.........it is not grief when the loss is caused by your own doing......it is self pity. I am never one to be cruel or hurtful, and I am genuine in my words..........I would not have shared such strong feelings if they were not overwhelming me. Those who have chosen to inflict this "grief" are drawing attention to themselves and taking it away from God. These are people of whom I had a great love and respect. People from whose faith in God I could grow. But in their selfishness have they taken that away from me without so much as a goodbye......it broke my heart. This departure is not in the name of the Lord, but in the name of a man. I feel as though I have been taken advantage by FRIENDS I looked up to and hoped to be like. My faith in God has not changed, but my faith in people certainly has.
Stephannie, I must respond. When I figured out which Stephannie you were, I must say I was taken aback, but I must put your comments down to ignorance of the truth. Our leaving was not self inflicted. It was very much Pastor inflicted, and if you are hearing anything else, I beg you to question more deeply. (And may I say right here, that I love Pastor as deeply as I ever have, and my intention is not to malign, but to speak from a perspective that has not been heard) We were all offered a VERY clear choice, and we chose the only thing we could choose with integrity. Yes, we could have stayed and beat our heads against the wall until our foreheads were bloody and the church was completely fragmented. But that is NOT how Jesus would have us exhibit our love for Him. I have made every effort to stay visible and available to those still at FBC, so that all of you will know that I love EACH AND EVERY one of you and miss you. Those of us who have stepped away from FBC have made every effort to behave with integrity in terms of why we left, and it has been extremely difficult to NOT defend our decision when we hear things like, "I am praying for your salvation," or, "Well, they are just mad at God" or, "Things weren't going their way, so they left" or even more unbelievably, "So, when are you moving to Hawaii?" All of these comments have only served to show us how very much people will assume what they want without trying to get to the truth, and all of these comments couldn't be further from the truth. The assumption is that a bunch of us got together and unanimously decided to leave the church. This too, could not be further from the truth. Each of us, through meeting with the pastor and praying as husband and wife, came to our decisions so independently that we actually avoided contact with each other, so as not to influence or be influenced. So, I beg of you, look deeper than the surface, ask hard questions, and pray for the Holy Spirit to guide you. You said, Stephannie, "These are people of whom I had a great love and respect. People from whose faith in God I could grow." We are EXACTLY the same people and our faith is not diminished. It grows stronger and deeper with each passing moment. If any of you reading this disagree in any way with what I have written today, PLEASE call me. I am just so very weary with God's people behaving like children mad at each other. Or worse yet, as though there has been a divorce, and now, even though we said we loved both sides of the family for all those years, we no longer speak to each other. Enough is enough. If you have questions, or you are hurt, at least find out if what you are questioning or hurting about is based on truth. PLEASE call me. And if you know someone who needs to read this and is not a blogger, please feel free to copy it and pass it on. I truly love you all...
Susie
707-446-9720
707-688-8238
susan.helton@sbcglobal.net
And please, if you agree with any of this, pray about your words in the comment section. Better yet, simply leave your name and phone number. My intention here is not to generate comments, or to start a back and forth debate, but to truly have spoken dialogue. However, if you disagree and are uncomfortable with calling, please feel free to comment in any way, and I will call you!
posted by Susie at
9:12 AM
1 Comments:
Thank you Susie for speaking what is on ALL of the hearts of those who left. I also welcome anyone to call me and ask ME why we left. However, not to sound rude, but I do not want people to call me if they are not willing to HEAR what I have to say. I honestly love EVERYONE at FBC and I am not looking to bash anyone, but I will tell the truth and sometimes the truth hurts to hear. So, if anyone wants to hear what I have to say and is willing to discuss things in an appropriate manner please call me at 455-7965.
By
Vicki, at Sun Oct 08, 09:04:00 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home